Spiritual Theology

Identity is not only who one is, but who one expects oneself to be. It is therefore a question that one must grasp to live a life examined. There is no escape from the question if one wants to live out a life that is in accordance with who one truly is. How does one live out one’s identity to the fullest? How does one even know who one truly is? How does one live out the fullness of one’s personality?

One must first come to know who one is as one’s Creator God, made one to be. Only when one knows who one truly is can one live out one’s identity to the fullest. Living out one’s identity is simple yet hard, as there are many hinderances in a fallen world, both exterior and interior to the human person. The question is what it means to live out one’s identity and personality to the fullest, and how should one do so.

It is natural to desire to live out the fullness of one’s identity and personality, precisely because that is what each of us was created by God to do. That is why people who do so catch others’ attention without seeking to or even realising it. They are often oblivious to the charisma and mystique that they emanate. That is also why such people are always remembered by those around them for their personality, because they stand out in the midst of a crowd where everyone is trying to conform to what is popular or seen as normal.

People who live out the fullness of their own identity and personality and are their own person, elicit strong reactions from others who know them personally or know of them. Others tend to either love or hate them for their personality. There is no in-between or neutrality in the sentiment that others have towards them. People do not merely like or dislike the person but love or hate the person because he lives out the authenticity of his true self.

People who love the person, love them because of their authenticity and good character perceived or otherwise, while people who hate such a person, often hate out of their own envy in seeing someone else being so true to themselves. This often leads to a lack of confidence in themselves, and even a challenge to who they are, which is an invariably unpleasant feeling, causing them to hate the person. Such people are often inauthentic people who put on a false persona as to who they truly are, or who perceive the person negatively simply because his very personality itself challenges them about what a person should be or not be.

Deep down inside, each of us desires to live out the fullness of our identity and personality. Identity is the core of who we are and who we should be as we perceive it in relation to ourselves. One’s sense of identity is what gives one a sense of being one’s own person and who one should be. To have no sense of identity leads to the inability to live out who one is and allow oneself to be dragged around by the winds and tides of the world as to how one should be and how one should live.

Living out who one truly is, however, requires much courage. Doing so often risks much misunderstanding, a lack of acceptance from others, ridicule, mockery and even hatred, all of which are the main reasons people do not want to live out their true selves. The prospect of risking much misunderstanding with others, isolation, and even ostracisation is extremely daunting and enough for most people to fear the very idea of living out their true authentic selves. As a result, most people conform to what is expected of them socially.

Most people, even well into adulthood, do not know who they truly are. They do not understand their own motives driving the paths they take. They do not know what they truly want. They grow up following the trends as to what is popular or what expected of them.

 Most people never truly grow up. Their mental and emotional maturity has peaked long before they truly understand who they are, if they ever do reach that stage of personal development, and before they have reached certain milestones in life, such as establishing their career, getting married, or the birth of a child.

Most people live as if these are what define their true self but is it not such events or circumstances in life that defines who one is, but one’s interior self that does, which is that pertaining to one’s identity, personality and character, especially moral character.

For that is where the soul lies, and the soul is the true self that will be judged by God for its deeds, whether good or bad. The soul is the true essence of who one is because it is eternal. The eternal nature of the soul is what makes human beings so unique, as created in the Image of God. It is the reason why living out a life that is in accordance with the will of God is of utmost importance, both living out who one is as He created one to be, and one’s purpose accordance to His plan and purposes. Nothing can be more important than one’s soul. Absolutely nothing!

The Essence of the Human Personality is the Will

The first question is, what is one’s true self? Does one have a true self? According to postmodernists, there is no true self since there is no objective reality. By this logic, there is no essence, but only form, and that one does not have any core or fixed human personality at all.

Instead, one’s personality, if existent at all, is purely shaped by one’s circumstances and environment. Human agency, defined as the will to determine one’s actions, thoughts, and words, in therefore non-existent since human personality would be merely the result of being shaped by the circumstances, in which one has no power to change. Life is that which one drifts through, washed about by the winds and tides of life, like a jellyfish drifting through the oceans, carried about by the currents wherever one ends up.

This absence of human agency or will in postmodernist thought explains the victim mentality of today’s age. Postmodern thinking denies the agency of the self in which one has the will to determine one’s actions, thoughts, and words, and thus, the power to change one’s environment and circumstances.

While it is true that some circumstances cannot be changed under certain conditions, it does not follow that one has no agency or power to change one’s environment and circumstances. Even circumstances that seem impossible to change are not necessarily impossible to change, where such is the result of human action.

Human action, thoughts, and words are the results of the will. To deny the existence of the human personality and the will, which is the essence of the human personality, is patently absurd, as it defies that which can be observed in human behaviour. People act via their own agency in their actions, thoughts, and words as far as unencumbered by circumstances that hinder them from doing so. People decide on what is the best choice as they perceive it to be, and act on it as far as possible as the strength of their will permits. When people fail to do so, it is because of circumstances that hinder them from doing so or the limitations of their will.

The essence of the human personality is the will, for it is the will that gives a person agency, directing their thoughts, words, and actions, as well as determining whether a person’s deeds are just and right, or unjust and wicked.

An understanding of the will is therefore critical to understanding how to live out one’s true personality in its fullness. The will is what determines our destiny, whether in Heaven or Hell. It is what leads our actions, thoughts, and deeds, and whether such are right or wrong before God. It is also the will that enables a person to fight all battles that one will endure in this life.

Created for the Immaterial, Intangible and Eternal Life

Living out one’s true self is not always as simple or easy as it should be, owing to living in a fallen world as well as our fallen nature. Doing so often requires great courage that is an act of the will.

As Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard famously said, “Now, with God’s help, I shall become myself.” By this, he meant that God created him and needs the grace of God for the strength to become himself. In his state of sin, he is not himself as God created him to be, but in his state of grace, he is endowed with the grace to be so. It is not simply enough to live out one’s true self but the fullness of one’s personality, as God created one to be.

To live out who God created one to be, one must have the will to even desire to live out who God created one to be. One must then know one’s true identity and have a sense of that identity. Self-awareness as to who one is, and who one should be is fundamental. Without self-awareness, one can never truly live out one’s true self.

The first step to doing so is to know that God is one’s Creator, and that one is not existing on earth by random chance or accident, or without purpose. This has significant ramifications as it means that one is created for a higher calling, not merely eating, drinking, and sleeping, like animals, nor merely working for the sake of enjoying material things or attaining physical needs that have no eternal value.

In being created for a higher calling, one is created for an abundant life as God created one for, which does not consist in the material, tangible, and temporal, but in the immaterial, intangible, and eternal (Luke 12:15). It is not a life that one needs to create by one’s own efforts, nor a life one needs to strive for, as it is a life that God freely gives one and lays out before one as life unfolds. It is a life that is not only unique to oneself, but uniquely suitable for oneself, and ultimately for His glory.

It is not a life that people can perceive through their senses, but that which can only be perceive and received in one’s spirit through divine revelation. It is not a life one writes, as God has already written it. It is merely that in truly living it out, one lets God’s magnificent plan and purpose for one’s life unfold before one’s eyes.

The life God has for one is not ultimately for oneself, but for God and His glory. In dying to oneself and living for His glory, in allowing God to display His glory through one, one paradoxically lives out one’s life to the fullest, in the fullness of one’s personality and purpose.

For one’s true and real identity is found by living before God, both in the state of one’s soul before God, and in surrendering one’s whole life to Christ, including one’s very soul itself. It is in the life of the soul, the spiritual life, where one’s true and real identity is found. All other identities that are temporal, though real, are mutable and ordered towards that core identity.

One’s true, real identity is found in the personality God created one to be. Personality comprises of not only one’s temperament but also one’s emotions, desires, dreams, ambitions, and visions, encapsulating the whole of a person’s being.

As a fearfully and wonderfully made Created being of God (Psalm 139:14), each human being is intricately complex. No personality test can diagnose or even begin to figure out the whole of any person’s personality, whether it be their temperament, emotions, desires, or will. For each person is uniquely and intricately complex.

Most people lack self-awareness owing to a lack of courage to face their own fears and insecurities about themselves, and a lack of will to know themselves. Most people are caught up with pursuing earthly and bodily pleasures, which diminishes the faculties of the will, as well as intellect. This results in a lack of direction, self-awareness, and the willpower to pursue meaningful pursuits. Such people are like a pig that wallows in the mud, living only for earthly and bodily pleasures, thinking they are satisfied but never being satisfied, with their insatiable lusts and pride, all without realising it.

Some may not live for pleasure, but most live only for their material needs, the chief one of which is money. One may think one is more respectable for doing so, but living for such things is no different from the person who lives for earthly, bodily pleasures. For both types of persons debase themselves as a Creation of God by appeasing the lower passions, instead of pursuing that which is divine, transcendent, and eternal.

How tragic it is that so many people have wasted so much of their lives chasing mammon! How sad it is that so many youth are pursuing a meaningless life, wallowing around to satisfy their base passions, and never being satisfied!

As long as one is wallowing in the lusts of one’s flesh, lusts of one’s eyes, and the pride of life, one will never know who one truly is because one’s mind is controlled by the will of flesh which is debased as a consequence. One’s self-awareness becomes dulled, and eventually numbed if one persists in such lusts and pride. Any sense of a rightly ordered sense of greatness of being called to do great things is eradicated, for one has made oneself no greater than animals by pursuing one’s lustful passions, the lower impulses of the human personality.

This is owing not only to a lack of a spiritual life in the person, but all sense of spirituality and transcendence. Such people cannot even understand why degeneracy is not normal, but enjoy debasing their dignity and make themselves akin to the wild animals of the fields who follow only their impulses and lack self-awareness, intelligence, and critical thinking.

It also explains why people who are ensconced in degeneracy are often envious towards those who live a life of greatness, because it not only exposes how debased they are, with their rotting souls that are slowly wasting away, but also how low in dignity they have made themselves through their own degeneracy. It reflects badly on themselves, and those who live out a life of greatness effectively stand as a living condemnation before them.

Show me a person wallowing in degeneracy and I will show a person who is discontented, insecure, and full of envy towards anyone else who is living a higher life, a life full of greatness and honour. Such is one of the saddest ways to waste away one’s life! Not only is such unprofitable towards coming to know God, through ways of moral rightness; there is nothing but dishonour and degradation of one’s own dignity. This is antithetical to the way God created each of us to live.

Embracing Oneself Courageously

Not only is knowing that God created one for His purposes and plans, and that this knowledge comes by divine relation, but also knowing the way God created one to be and fully accepting that it is the way He created one, is key to living out the fullness of one’s personality. Most, if not all of us, have insecurities about ourselves, be it certain aspects of our personalities, desires, ambitions, dreams, or emotions. Such can weigh us down with much shame, guilt, hurt, or pain.

For many, such shame, guilt, hurt, or pain in being who one is, causes a lack of self-confidence, and consequently self-hatred. These are hinderances to living out the fullness of one’s personality. God created each one of us for greatness, not as the world defines it, but as God defines it. To live a life of greatness, one must therefore first live out one’s true self courageously.

Living out one’s true self with courage requires one to fully accept the way God created one to be, including even the seemingly less desirable features or aspects of oneself. For example, one may dislike one’s own introverted nature, owing to the difficulties that may come with interacting and socialising with others. One may dislike oneself for being disorganised and being unable to adhere to a plan. Likewise, a very organised and stable person may dislike their own lack of creativity and spontaneity.

Whether one’s innate temperamental characteristics are, one must learn to accept to those characteristics as innate and good. Too often, we are tempted to compared ourselves with others and as a result, fail to see the good God has given us. Too often, we are tempted to despise the way God created us because we view ourselves negatively. Our innate temperament, regardless of what others may think, or what oneself may think, is good, for God Himself created it, and God can only create what is good and perfect.

The temperamental make up God has given each of us is good, both for ourselves and others. It is God’s gift to us that is part of His design for us, ordered towards serving His Plan and Purpose. We are created exactly the way we are to suit the purpose God has for each of us on earth. Though we ourselves may not understand why God created us the way He did or even the way we are, being so intricately complex in His design, we can know that He created it good and for good.

The way He created our innate temperament has no errors or mistakes, but amazingly perfect in accordance with His Plan and Purpose for each of us. We must embrace that wholeheartedly in faith. To despise the way God created one is to complain about God. It is like the clay complaining to the Potter about why he made it the way it is.

Likewise, the desires that God places in our hearts are also good desires ordered toward the Plan and Purpose He has for each of us. These may be natural or spiritual desires. Natural desires refer to the desires for earthly goods, such as career success, marriage, family, and friendship. Spiritual desires refer to the desires for spiritual gifts, such as wisdom, perseverance, courage, divine revelation, and understanding.

That we have a certain desire, whatever it may be, does not necessarily mean it will be fulfilled. What is certain, however, is that if a desire in one’s heart, whether natural or spiritual, is truly planted in one’s heart by God, it will be fulfilled.

As the Psalmist says: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). It is not because it is one’s own desire that it will be fulfilled, but because it is God’s will for one. The desire itself is good and perfect from Heaven above, and not born out of one’s own lusts and pride, for ‘every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change’ (James 1:17).

Since such a desire, be it for a natural or spiritual good, is good and perfect, one should not only not be ashamed of it, but embrace it. For embracing the desires God has placed in one’s heart, is to embrace God Himself, in the same way as embracing the temperament God gave one.

Such desires are good because they are ordered towards the glory of God. In being ordered towards the glory of God, who is charity, such desires are always born out of charity towards others and piety towards God. If one has any desire that is not born out of charity towards others, but for one’s own pride, vainglory, or greed, it is not a desire from Heaven above, but out of the passions of one’s flesh, ordered towards pride.

Pursuing Greatness

God created each of us for greatness. Knowing that one was created by God for greatness is fundamental to knowing oneself. Only when one knows that one is created for greatness can one have a true sense of confidence in who one is.

Many lack self-confidence and have a deeply ingrained sense of inferiority because they have no sense of rightly ordered greatness in themselves. For this reason, many choose the easier path in life, despite having the capability to have pursued a higher, more difficult, but greater and meaningful path. They follow the trends of the world because they are afraid of judgment from others and fear hardships, afflictions, and difficulties.

A particularly pertinent example is that of pursuing the corporate path, one of simply getting a meaningless corporate job that one does not even enjoy, just for the sake of comfort, ease, and pleasure. The vast majority of those who pursue such a path only want an easy life, and often fear social judgment. They desire the status that comes with a corporate job. The lack of meaning means nothing to them as they think that life is simply to be lived for pleasure and comfort.

They may have other talents, such as musical, artistic, or intellectual talents, but are not concerned about using them for any greater purpose, often owing to a lack of confidence or fear of difficulties and challenges. This leads to a meaningless path where one slaves away for the corporate machine, only for the purpose of satisfying material needs and bodily desires. One might call it boring because it is one that involves doing nothing remarkable or great. Such is the path that the vast majority of people take, owing to their love of pleasure, treasure, comfort, and ease.

Pursuing greatness requires a great deal of courage and confidence in oneself. A lack of faith in God which grants one a rightly ordered confidence in oneself is why so many lack confidence. Worldly people who have a great deal of self-confidence are often grandiose. Such grandiosity relies on one’s false imagination about one’s own capabilities, talents, and ability. Worldly self-confidence is therefore born out of pride and arrogance. Though many worldly people often have the talent, capabilities, and abilities to ground their confidence, their striving for vainglory in which their confidence is manifest, is motivated by pride and arrogance.

For their confidence in themselves, which though factually justified in that they have the talents, capabilities, and abilities to back up their confidence, is not rooted in faith in God. As a result, many such people are very insecure people because they are driven by success and the need to keep up their success by relying in their own talents, capabilities, and abilities.

Once lost, their confidence plunges to the lowest depths, and the toll on their mental and emotional wellbeing severe. It is precisely for this reason that many people do not even dare think about taking a risky, rocky path that makes the most of their talents, if they possess such at all. It is a lack of courage, rather than true humility, that they do not dare venture.

One can only be truly great when one strives to do the will of God to glorify Him, to love God and one’s neighbours, trusting only in His strength and His will for one’s life. It is only when one strives for such greatness as God created one to be, out of a love for God and one’s neighbours, that one is truly living out the fullness of one’s personality. Such greatness is not as the world understands or perceives it, but a true greatness that is spiritual, heavenly, and eternal.

Striving for greatness is not arrogance nor pride, for we were made for greatness. It is only when striving for greatness is rooted in vainglory, motivated by the desire to glorify oneself rather than God, that it becomes prideful and arrogant. Likewise, not striving for greatness is not humility. It is most often pride of the kind that leads to cowardice as well as sloth.  

Knowing and Accepting the Way God Created One to Be

The only way to have true self-confidence is to know and accept that God created one to be the way one is. It a self-confidence that is unwavering, not based on one’s successes, circumstances, or state in life, all of which may waver and crumble. It is a self-confidence that is humble, and not proud, based on that which is true about oneself. It is a self-confidence that is real and authentic, as it is based on who one is, and not on who one is not. It is a self-confidence that is secure, as it is based on who God created one to be for a purpose, and not born into this world, purposeless and destined for nothing but meaningless.

Truly knowing the way God created one to be requires faith in knowing that God created one that way. Truly accepting the way God created one to be requires faith in knowing that it is good and perfect. One has only truly accepted the way God created one to be when one not only fully embraces the way God has made one to be, but also strives to be that way for His glory, to love and serve God and one’s neighbours. Be who God created you to be.